Monday, March 7, 2011

My Bladder's Behind My Eyes

I was talking to my mom tonight (who currently also suffers from this ailment...perhaps it is genetic...), and she told me a story about when she was a little girl and had to get her appendix out.  My Grandma Ruth carried her to the back door to say good-bye to her brothers and her father before heading up to the hospital for surgery.  My grandmother kept a stiff upper lip, because, as she years later recounted to my mom, "Your father's bladder was behind his eyes!"  Apparently, he cried a lot.

That is about as perfect a summary as I can imagine for how I am feeling tonight.  Overall, we are doing well.  We have shaken the Dooby Dooby Flu (at least I think we have - I'm feeling a little achy and feverish, but we're keeping our fingers crossed and our minds in denial), we are slowly getting back into the comfort of a routine, and there are several blessings right around the corner to celebrate.  But, I have to admit, it has been a long winter.  It has been one trial after another.  My bladder's been behind my eyes.  I will be doing fine, cruising along, and then suddenly the most minute thing will trigger an emotional pain so uncomfortable I swear it is physical.

I had some great news I wanted to share with my Gram.  She would have loved this news.  I don't know why I feel the need to mourn so much because I can hear exactly how the conversation would go if I could call her up and tell her now.  I can recall immediately the sound of her voice, and I know what wise advice she would give me.  But I still wish we could share that moment.  I ache to have that conversation with her.

I am still working on B90X (reading through the Bible in 90 days, but I am clearly on the modified version of the program seeing as I am only in Psalms...), and today I read the verse, "Weeping may last for a night, but dancing will come in the morning."  I know this is true.  I can already see the beginning of the dawn breaking.  I have great hope, and I know each day will bring a bit more light.

But tonight, my bladder's behind my eyes.

2 comments:

Renovation Girl said...

:( I hate ocular incontinence and I am very prone to it. Moreso recently and often in that surprise way. Ugh. Here is some virtual eye Depends for you!

Kat said...

Our "storms" have been relatively small and frequent, but I was right there with you last night just feeling broken (and leaking). Continue to pray for your family....