Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How Do You Know?

As Mark and I have talked and prayed about the future of our family, we are faced with some big decisions.  It isn't so much the decisions that stress me out, it is the trying to discern what God wants us to do that causes my struggle.

In the Bible God revealed His messages through various means - a still, small voice, a hand writing on a wall, a flash of light and an audible voice, dreams.  I confess here and now, I am really pulling for the audible voice, because with all of the emotional and spiritual toll of the last few months, I worry I won't be able to recognize His prompting through the very delicate healing happening.  It is also hard to trust our ability to follow Him, because...well, we thought we did and it didn't end up "successful" by the world's standards.  I don't doubt that we were doing what was right.  I just don't understand why God led us to the outcome He did.

We still have hope, we still have joy, but we also have wobbly faith legs right now.  We don't want to delay when He needs us to go, and we don't want to go when His perfect timing needs to be lingered over. We feel a bit frozen, and although it very well may be God's plan for us to wait, I worry that we are pausing because of fear more than discernment.

Tonight I pray for peace and wisdom.  I pray I will recognize God's hand on our lives.  I pray faith would overcome fear.  I pray that somehow, we will know.


Kat said...

Thank you so much for this post. Though for different reasons, your thoughts are EXACTLY where we are right now. I've known I need to write about it, but didn't know how to put into words what you just did.

septic (yes, an Ann-given nickname) said...

I can so relate to what you are feeling. 2010 was a really tough year for us as well (for completely different reasons), and I've been crying out to God for months on end, with no clear response. Finally, it seems we have some direction, but it has been a long haul, and like you, I still wonder if it is the path He wants us to take. That uncertainty can be very unsettling. I hope you get some clear direction soon. Love you (and your blog!!)!

Norwood Mama said...

Sometimes God uses the typed out words of your friend. Oh! Here He goes now! "Ann, go to Cincinnati! I have rest and fun for you there. When you get home, I promise to give you direction....somehow and eventually."

Anonymous said...

Thank you that is a wonderful post that I am sure several people (including myself) can relate too, and don't know how to put into words. It is our reminder that we need to keep our trust and faith in God.