Decisive Under Pressure

That's what I want to be.

I had this sudden realization today after a week of frustrating parenting. Yes, the things the boys do annoy or frustrate me, but the real frustration is that in the moment, I feel unsure of what to do. We had a great groove going with the boys until I got sick, and it seems like we have been struggling to get back on track ever since. I had a good idea of where we were headed and how to get there with the boys, but once I got so tired, I tended to defer to the path of least resistance, and I'm afraid I'm still stuck somewhere in that murky haze.

I am not a decisive person by nature - just ask anyone who has said the phrase "Where do you want to go eat?" to me. Inevitably, my answer is "Oh, I don't care. You pick. Just not Mexican." (Even I can scrape together one food boundary.) I am just not decisive in the moment. And in the moment with a child who is melting down, pestering, or arguing is not a good time to mull over and decide on effective parenting strategies.

It struck me last night while watching Band of Brothers - I would be a lousy soldier, and an ever worse commander (and not just because I don't like lifting heavy things). I could never, ever make wise decisions under the pressures of combat. Heck, I buckle under the mere pressure of the quivering lip. My dream of being a middle linebacker is in jeopardy because at this point I would be stuck at mid field while the play unfolds around or behind me still frantically deep in thought, "Pass or run? Pass or run?"

I don't think this is a fatal flaw, but I do think this is something I am going to be intentionally working on in the next few weeks. I told Mark tonight that I want to think through a big picture parenting plan and put together some skills to walk that out in the short term. Hopefully when I have a strategy already in place, I won't buckle while in mommy combat.

If this is a war, I really want to win it.

Comments

Renovation Girl said…
After the morning I've had with Builder Boy, I'd love to hear the plan you come up with...we certainly need it! Good luck!