A dear friend loaned me a book, and it is kicking me in the spiritual tookas. It is called The Autobiography of George Muller, and I highly recommend it for anyone who feels like they are stalled out in a spiritual holding pattern. Reading about how George Muller walked out his faith has forced me to listen to God about how I'm living out mine each day. It's not pleasant, but it IS good.
There are a million quotes from this book that I would love to post, but last night I was almost knocked over by one particular passage that hit me right where I'm at. And since misery loves company, I figure I would share it here so maybe one other person can feel the (gulp) conviction of the Holy Spirit as needed. :) Muller is talking about ways we can strengthen our faith.
"The last important point for the strengthening of our faith is that we let God work for us and do not work a deliverance of our own. When a trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust God and trust in ourselves, in our friends, or in circumstances. We would rather work a deliverance of our own than simply look to God and wait for His help. But if we do a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith we will have the same problem. We will again be inclined to try and deliver ourselves. With every fresh trial, out faith will decrease. On the contrary, if we stand firm in order to see the salvation of God, trusting in Him alone, our faith will be increased. Every time we see the hand of God stretched out on our behalf in the hour of trial, our faith would be increased even more. God will prove His willingness to help and deliver at the perfect time."
Isn't that just so true? So often I face a problem or circumstance when I know I should just wait and trust in God's good and perfect will, but instead I use my "reasoning" and "skills" (ha!) to figure my way out of trouble. And Muller is right - my faith in God's goodness and willingness to save is diminished. I am left relying on past experiences based on my expertise, and that is sandy ground, at best.
This is (one of) the spiritual battlegrounds I am determined to take back. I want to wait on the Lord and see His deliverance and when all is said and done, proclaim His saving grace.