Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Reality of My Fantasy

So we are six weeks into the fantasy football season, and well, let's just say that so far this hasn't been my year. I thought I did pretty well on draft night, all things considered. Apparently I was wrong.

The problems started right away with the quarterback position. I originally drafted Derek Anderson as my starter, found out during the draft that he had a concussion, and then in a panic picked up Matt Schaub. I have musical chaired this position to death, each time resulting in a loss of self respect and much weeping and gnashing of teeth. As of last week, I had to bench Trent Edwards (who was knocked out on the first drive of the previous week's game) and I picked up Kyle Orton. Now while Kyle got me 17 points, what grates on me like nails on a chalkboard is that I dropped Derek Anderson to pick him up. Yeah. That Derek Anderson. The wild and crazy quarterback who led the Browns to a shocking victory over the Giants last night.


Then there is the running back situation. If dropping and picking up free agent running backs earns a girl a bad reputation, you could find my name on any high school boys' bathroom stall. My first draft pick was Joseph Addai. He hasn't really lit it up, but any flicker is gone as he left the game this past weekend with an injury. Then there was the week I benched Ronnie Brown. You know - 45-fantasy-points-that-week Ronnie Brown. I think that was the week I had more points on my bench than on my active roster.

The Seahawks defense has been an abysmal failure, and the "sleeper pick" tight end that was recommended to me on draft night has remained just that...a sleeper. I ended up trading him last week too. That will teach me to take fantasy football advice from a certain Mr. Rob, who is the only person in the league who has a worse record than I do. (He had print outs and magazines at the draft - I was clearly deceived by all the informational bells and whistles.)

And yet, here I am at 2-4, still holding out hope for next week's big game. Can you imagine if I lived my "real" life with this much delusion? But with great delusion comes great hope, and you gotta hold on to hope.

So the reality of my fantasy is that this year, "pAyton, Not pEyton" has started slow. Very, very, v e r y slow. But I press on. With many weeks left in the season, I imagine a crazy comeback of epic proportions for myself. Maybe I will beat my husband in our next showdown. Maybe next season people will be asking me for advice on draft night. Maybe I will pick up a player who doesn't get injured on the first series of a game. Maybe I will end the season still ahead of Mr. Rob.

Hey, they don't call it fantasy football for nothing.


Ava's Mama said...
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Ava's Mama said...

Huh? Can you just talk about Jesus or your kids?

Aly said...

I'm REALLY trying! Maybe you should talk to me like I'm a six year old and I could understand better.