OK, I know my title today sounds a little morbid, but let me explain. Every so often I have a moment so wonderful, so funny, or so special that I want to be sure to remember it always. You know how they say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes? Well, if God will let me, I want to have some say in the summary of my existence I will see at my end here on earth. I have tried to mentally record these moments for myself, and now that I have hit my 30s and the memory isn't what is used to be ("I'm sorry, what is my PIN number again honey?"), I have begun asking God to help me preserve my deathbed moments. I am not sure how that will work out for me in the end, but I figure it's worth a shot. I love the passage of Luke 2:19 - "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." These deathbed moments as I call them are my moments for treasuring and pondering.
It is interesting to me that these moments aren't the "big" days of my life, but it's usually the little things that get me. Sometimes a smile from Cal or a sweet thought from Jude is all it takes to make a deathbed moment. Life really is about little things. Take my wedding. Such an amazing day, but do you know what I remember most distinctly? The sweet smell of flowers in the front of the church. I am convinced that all these little moments are tiny love notes from God.
This morning I had a few of those moments. Because I haven't been feeling well, we weren't able to go to church, so Mark ran out and got doughnuts and mochas and we sat out on the back deck with the boys eating and enjoying each other's company. It was such a beautiful morning. The birds were singing, there was a nice soft breeze, the sun was shining in a bright blue sky. Once the boys were done with their doughnuts they played in the grass while Mark and I sat and talked about our life and goals and dreams and challenges. It was just a beautiful morning.
So I have asked God to help me file this morning away in my deathbed moments to see again at the end of my life. But in case this morning's memories don't "take", I took some pictures too. They may not seem like much to you, but I will treasure and ponder these images in my heart. (And I know that someday God will give me special moments when my boys are actually fully clothed...)
I hope you have a deathbed moment yourself today.