I understand that her life is going on in Latvia while we are separated. I know that as more days pass since we were able to see her, laugh with her, and live with her, the emotions of that family dynamic fade a bit. I realize that so much in her world has been turned upside down in the last three months. Yet I still long to hear from her, not even for my personal reassurance (although that would be a nice side benefit!), but because I care for her. I am interested and invested in her, even though I know in my heart of hearts that there is a great emotional risk inherent in our situation.
As I have mulled all this over throughout the last few "silent" days, I have had a stunning realization that, on some levels, God may wish to hear from me in the same way I wish to hear from Inessa. The last message I sent Inessa was a long letter, sharing all of the details about our life recently and how we are feeling, and in return...quiet. How often do I do that with God? God is pouring out His heart to me through my Bible study on the book of Matthew, and yet I haven't taken the time to really sit down and spend time replying to Him.
I don't believe that God has a need for my reply, any more than I believe He has a need for me to "do" anything for Him. He is God, regardless of anything I feebly bring to the table. But He is a God of relationship, and because I know He loves me, I believe He would love for me to reply to Him about my day, what I am doing, what I am thinking about, and what I dream of for my life. All those intimate thoughts I long to hear from Inessa, He longs to hear from me.
Today I am going to find a quiet corner and a few moments to hit the "reply" button to God.